Jan., 2022 blog entries

Please read the intro post before wandering far.

January 17th

This Week's Positives:

  • My Holy Grail Rin figure arrived
  • More More Jump! Rin is finally arriving in Project Sekai
  • Partner and I are watching Archive81 together
  • Started going back to the gym
  • Stuck to my diet and lost 4lbs!

Sorry for the day-late update. My work still hasn't reopened and it's killing me. I'm so bored and listless, not much has happened. I just wake up, eat, play video games, watch Netflix or Youtube, play more games, then sleep. I wish I was kidding. I'm absolutely miserable. On the bright side, my health is somewhat improving. I'm managing to keep to under or right around 1,000 calories a day. That may seem like too small of an amount but I am fairly sedentary, especially with my work closed. However we are starting to go to the gym again, which makes me feel super good. I got a mile in on the treadmill then four miles in on the stationary bike. I know there's a proper name for the bike equipment but alas. I really like gym equipment that keeps track of your time and distance (when applicable). It genuinely helps me stay focused and motivated. So, I'm currently 179lbs. That's basically back at my starting weight, because during the first and second week of January I binged. Still, I'm very proud to be back. I'm not sure if I can shed 5lbs by the end of this month but I'll try my hardest.

Something I'd like to improve upon is having a more productive or helpful daily routine. Like I said, its just been eat -> sleep -> repeat lately. So miserable, this week and a half of having nothing to do has really opened my eyes to that. I enjoy getting up early in the morning (7-8am) so I want to start there. I should block out some time to work on this blog and my other site (for my art). I also keep a private journal so I'll update that too. Around lunch or the afternoon I can take a break and spend some time doing more recreational stuff like drawing, or writing. Then I can do chores afterwards, keep the apartment nice and tidy. During the evening I can get into more long-form activities like playing video games or something, while I wait for my partner to come home, so we can have dinner together. Then I'll go to bed around 9~11pm. Is this all too vague of a schedule? I'm not really good at routines and such. I don't know. But hey, I'm up early this morning, so I guess nows a good of a time as ever to try it out.

For the basic discussion this week, I just wanna talk about how excited I am about Rin Kagamine. I managed to score my Holy Grail figure, and she finally arrived! I actually missed the first delivery so I had to reschedule it for the next day. The figure I'm talking about is the 2009 Goodsmile 1/8th scale figure. I've wanted her forever, I detest the modern designs of Vocaloid, I guess it's just nostalgia, but I don't think there's any other Rin figure that's so emblematic of her (supposed) personality and energy. I love her! Her spine looks a bit broken but I'll let it slide in favor of artistic expression. I guess it's because I've been into Vocaloid since 2008, but I much prefer the bulkier, silhouette-reliant designs of KEI and from that era in general. Modern Vocaloid designs are too ironed out, too slick and sleek. It's just sad to me. In terms of Rin figures, my Rin Nendoroid Doll finally shipped. I preordered her right away in Febuary last year, so I'm more relieved than anything. Still, I hate her faceplate and I'm not a fan of the hair they made, so I'll probably swap parts with the original Rin Nendoroid. Fun fact, Rin's Nendoroid is #0039 (printed as #039 but there are more than a thousand Nendos now), and "39" can be read as "Mi-ku". Ironic considering Goodsmile uses Miku as their cash cow, but gave #039 to Rin. We're not done with Rin yet, either, as today at 3pm PST, Colorful Stage, or Project Sekai, is finally releasing MMJ! Rin from the vaults. I never got her in JP pjsekai so I've saved up 200 pulls to get her. I could've had enough to spark her but I love pjsekai as a whole so I've been lead astray a few times.... I really appreciate this game. I know it's mostly just gacha nonesense, but as a long-time Vocaloid fan it's so nice. Different groups that represent the ways different people interact with Vocaloid, and the Vocaloids being there themselves to help the members of those groups... it really reminds me of my childhood hahaha. It really speaks to me.
Well, I'll stop ranting about Vocaloid. I hope everyone has a good rest of their week! No song of the week again, because frankly I haven't been listening to music. I listen while I commute and I haven't had to commute lately at all!

January 9th

This Week's Positives:

  • Had a date night
  • Tried a new tea
  • Got a new artbook
  • Started playing Genshin again

Well, since my last update, things have been going well. Date night was pleasant :) We went to our usual Asian market, and went back into the bookstore. I bought a Fullmetal Alchemist artbook, which has all of the official artwork (for marketing purposes), including an interview and art process by mangaka Hiromu. It was a good read. I set a budget but failed to uphold it because I find Vol.2 and Vol.3 of the Madoka Magica 10th anniversary collection. Then I ordered Vol.1. Unfortunately they were flops. My Japanese reading skills are basically non-existent. The collection contains interviews, a new side story manga, and various one-shot manga by guest artists. So, nothing I can gain anything from. No point in being too hard on myself, I own them now so, when my reading skills are better, I'll be able to make use of them in the future. I also got the latest edition of Larme, my favorite fashion magazine. I was very intrigued by the section detailing the models' bathing routines. Just.. morbidly curious I suppose. That'd be super weird in America, but in Japan I suppose it's not that strange? We even got to know the water temperatures. Hm. Well, after the bookstore we went to a local ramen places. I got choshu shio ramen. It was really tasty! I hadn't eaten for about 36 hours leading up to that because I had to fast for some labs I went to do before we went on our date. Despite being hungry as fuck I paced myself. Chewed through the ramen and gyoza slowly, then had matcha tiramisu for dessert. I cherish my partner so much, he's so adorable and kind. I'm really grateful for that night we got to spend together. :)
On a not so positive note, my workplace has shut down for the foreseeable future. They're doing demolition work so they can reach our pipes and fix them, as well as reflooring several theaters. Who knows how long that's going to take.... I'm basically jobless. It is what it is I guess, it was out of my control. I hope things get sorted fast, though, because I love my job and my coworkers. Even if I get a temporary job in the meantime, I want to go back.

My monthly goal is to lose 5lbs per. I think I am very afraid of change because I actually binged this week and gained 3lbs (I'm up to 183 now). I don't like this. Honestly I think it's just a sobering reminder that I need to be more proactive about weight loss. A fitness Youtuber I like is releasing a new exercise series for the 2022 so I am going to follow that. I want to lose weight so bad, change is scary but it is something we all have to face-- I want to face it head-on. I also slipped back into my habit of oversleeping again, so I wanted to acknowledge that, and recommit to getting up early, especially now that I evidently don't have to worry about my night shifts anymore.

Something that I have been thinking about recently is why exactly I have switched to Neocities. I struggle with being blunt and have a hard time slowing down and really considering the affect I can have on others. I've pretty much burned all my online social bridges. It sucks! So I want to improve myself. I talk about this in my intro. The thing is, the friends I've managed to make a keep from a certain website are also leaving it. It's kind of reassuring to me knowing the website itself is also the issue, not just me. I really feel like everyone over there is kind of off the rails. I do still know the part of the problem is me and my own behavior, but sometimes I really felt like it was wrong for me to be villainized. I don't know, the whole thing is kind of a mess. Either way, I'm really enjoying my time on Neocities. It's good to reflect like this.

Well, I hope everyone has a good week. I don't know when I'll have song of the week up for this week, but I'll get to it as soon as I can. By the way, thanks for following! :)

January 5th

Well, I want to update every Sunday, but since this is the first week of my site, I figured I'd update right now since I have the building blocks in place. Here's how I want this site to function.
  • Updates every Sunday, blog style
  • Song of the Week on Sundays as well
  • Four entries per month, linked in the sidebar
  • Every six months, blog posts and SotW will be archived
  • Those archives will be .txt files available for download off the "archive" page

For blog entries specifically, I want to:
  • List my accomplishments and positive experiences for the week
  • Generally go over what happened
  • Discuss things I'd like to improve, or how I would have handled a situation in retrospect
  • Discuss in details the positives

Growth and introspection is the point! With that out of the way, I'll start the 'actual' blog entry now :)

This Week's Positives:

  • Spent New Years with my partner. Had a great dinner, champagne, and a New Years kiss
  • Began sorting through the boxes stacked in our dining room. It was my mom's stuff
  • Made progress in Harvest Moon: Animal Parade, and began replaying Trio of Towns
  • Had fruit nearly every day for breakfast
  • Cleared out my cat's litter box for fresh litter
  • Cut my cat's claws
  • Budgeted out for the first half of the month (I get paid biweekly)
  • Planned an outing with my partner for later this week
  • Committed to finally getting some medical labs done

Whew. That's a fairly hefty list, I'm happy to say. At first I thought I may not be able to come up with many at all, but as I reflected I thought of more and more.
I saw a post on Twitter by an artist this week. Basically, they did an experiment: Document how their day went when they "just did" the things they wanted to do, versus how it went when they let themselves "overthink" the actions. Their results showed they had a much better, more productive, more fulfilling day when they "just did" things. It really struck me. My partner has been doing morning shift these past few weeks due to the holidays, and he always wakes me up to say goodbye (I asked him to). Then, my cat gets fed in the morning, by me. So, I'm up pretty early. I work night shift, but I am a morning person. I kiss my partner goodbye, get up, feed my cat, crawl back into bed, thinking "Maaan, it'd be nice to take a shower, and get some breakfast. Make some tea, do some yoga". I think and think about doing those things, then I just roll over and fall back asleep until my shift starts in 2 hours. It blows! I always feel low-energy, not willing to fully engage at my job, and just dead-beat tired when I get home. So, today, after my cat woke me up to feed her, I just.. stayed up. It's nice as fuck. Fed my cat, switched the litter, took a shower. I'm sitting here typing with my towel on my head, drying my hair. I have some tea brewing in the kitchen and a mighty tasty looking banana. I don't work for 8 more hours. I want to continue this train of thought (or lack thereof) this weekend, see how it treats me.

I don't work Thursday, so my partner and I plan to go do some labs I've needed to get done for months. The big snag was I kept forgetting I needed to not eat the night before doing them, haha. My poor Doctor. I hope she doesn't think poor of me. After the labs, we're going to go out of town for dinner and some indulgent shopping. There's an art book and fashion magazine I collect, I'm hoping to pick them up then. I'm excited! 楽しみだ!

In terms of things I'd like to improve on, I'm going to reflect a bit further back than this week. I've been so lazy at work! I love my job, but since we've gotten a new hire who is more experienced in the field than me, I've gotten a bit intimidated. Not to mention, due to the holidays, we've had a lot of people in my position working the same shifts. There's really only so much work to go around. I try to just keep my head down and work on what I can, but it's tough. There's physically not much space, and most of the time if you jump in you'll disrupt someone elses' work. So, this week, I want to try and find meaningful ways to contribute. It's embarrassing to admit but going to work is the only real life socialization I get right now, aside from my partner. I love all my coworkers so I'm always giddy to see them, but I'm sure some of them feel slighted, like "come on, Yuzu, do your damn job instead of chatting with everyone!". Things that I can do that no one else really does include checking and cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the carpets around my station, washing the trays, dusting the footer, etc. I will keep these in mind while I'm at work.
In terms of personal health, my new years resolution is to lose 5lbs every month. Ideally, by the end of the year I'd be at my goal weight. Yet, this past week all I did was binge. For our New Years "party", which was just my partner and I, I bought cookies and chips, an execessive amount. Then, we didn't even touch them on New Years! So, I've just been binging on them. There were donuts, too. Ugh. My body feels disgusting when I binge, but I feel so innately compelled to. I know I have a sugar addiction. To celebrate my paycheck I bought Starbucks. What the hell, me. Talk about self-sabotage. I think I'm afraid of the change that will come with being 60lbs lighter. I've never been that thin except on my way to being this fat! A big shift like that requires a whole lifestyle overhaul. The issues I'm facing is just getting myself to do exercise. Overall, I don't actually eat that much, maybe 2k cals at most. The problem with my intake is it's usually mostly sugars, fats, and carbs. It's tasty while it's in my mouth but once it's in my stomach I feel gross and bloated. I haven't had breakfast yet because my stomach still hurts from binging last night. So, my goal for this week is to eat less sugar! Drink water or tea when I'm feeling just a bit peckish.

Well, for the positives.. I made this site! I'm actually fairly proud of it so far. I'm a very particular person, it's hard for me to get things good enough for the standards I hold myself to. Yet, somehow some way, I'm pretty satisfied with what I've done. Like, really proud, actually. It's something I built, with the gracious help of others, and it's just for me. It's a nice feeling. I can do whatever I want with it with just some elbow grease. It's really nice to have a place to get out the emotions and thoughts some songs make me feel, too. Sometimes I feel overburdened and downright crazy with how much music can evoke from me. I'm also considering a "move of the month" section, because fuck, I love film. I watch a lot of movies. Since I believe so strongly in engaging thoroughly with media, it might be a good idea to reflect at the end of the month what I watched, and what my favorite movie from that pool was. The possibilities are truly endless.

Oh, my hairclips came in, too. I bought some new ones since I was tired of wearing the same one every day to work. They are really cute, so I'm excited to wear them to work today. One of them came broken, but it wasn't one I anticipated wearing often, so I'm not upset. I did wonder briefly if I could get some sort of refund, but god, I got these on sale and one set for free, so that'd be petty, and probably not worth the time it'd take to contact support.
I also was finally able to import one of my holy grail figures. I found a Japanese listing for $30. Thirty-fucking-dollars, for a sealed box mint condition Kagamine Rin figure from 2009! Granted, it could have been the 2013 rerun version. Doesn't bother me though! All the photos checked out too, so I'm feeling confident it wasn't a scam. I've actually managed to get all of my Rin figures for their initial sale price, still sealed and in mint, which is just insane. This is why I hate Hatsune Miku. Miku is overrated and that causes Vocaloid to be underrated. Rin, Len, Luka, Kaito, Meiko, Gakupo, and Gumi (plus others!) are just as responsible for many classics as Miku is. I remember 10 years ago where Vocaloid was about everyone, not just Miku. Now Miku is the "Vocaloid" fandom's little lesbian meow meow skrunkly scrungly or something. Insane. At least I get Rin merch for cheap, but another downside is there's hardly any merch at all, compared to Miku. It frustrates me. By the way, the Rin and Len cover of "えれくとりっく・えんじぇぅ/Electric Angel" is way better than Miku's.

I'm not sure I have much more to say right now, and I'm getting hungry, so I'll dip. If I have an add-ons, I will denote it as an edit. Thank you for reading, I hope you have a good day!